Letter to my 7-year old daughter

My dear Oluwaseyitan,

You are growing into one fine young woman - your loving, thoughtful and helpful nature fills me with so much joy. However, I am deeply concerned at your eagerness to conform to please people - it reminds me of how I was when I was your age. Although there have been bumps on the road, I think I have turned out just fine. Thus, with the benefit of hindsight and experience, I write you this open letter to share some nuggets gained through the years.

1. Enjoy your childhood! I see you my darling daughter, so eager to wear make-up, you want to wear mummy’s clothes, you want to wear high heels, you want to have your hair done like mummy, you want to be all grown-up! Relax, dear child, enjoy the days of innocence and no responsibilities while you can. One day soon, you will look back and wish you had taken time to enjoy your younger days.
2. Stay true to yourself. Never change yourself to please anyone because people will always mock anyone or anything ‘different’ from the norm to mask their fear and ignorance. This point is particularly important when you get into a relationship. Do not compromise your personal values to please any man. A man who truly loves you will accept you just the way you are and will support you in becoming the best version of yourself.
3. You can become anything you set your mind to do. Never let society set limitations on how much you achieve in life. You are a strong and intelligent female. The sky is not your limit - your limit is whatever you set yourself. Let this popular saying, ‘if you can dream it, you can achieve it’, be your mantra as you walk through life.
4. Be kind, respectful and considerate. My beloved girl, as much as it is within your power, show kindness, respect and consideration in all your dealings with people. Your kindness will not always be reciprocated, but be rest assured that when you sow goodness, you will indeed reap goodness and vice versa.
5. Be content with what you have. Do not join the growing trend of materialism which has driven many young girls and ladies to living promiscuous lives just to ‘keep up with the Joneses’. Be content with what you can afford - if you work hard along the lines of the point made in No. 3 above, you will be able to meet all your material needs without depending on a man for sustenance.
6. Be generous. You, my dear girl are destined for greatness. On your way to the top and on arrival there, remember to be generous to all. Be liberal in sharing your knowledge, time and material possessions with others, as much as possible. It is not only more blessed to give than to receive, there is also a deep sense of joy and fulfilment that comes from knowing that you have contributed in some way in helping others achieve their dreams.
7. Remain humble. You have the seed of greatness in you, and I have no doubts in my mind that you will achieve greatness if you apply all the points made above. When success comes, do not forget to remain humble. Remember all those who helped you on your way up, help those who are less privileged around you to attain the heights you have achieved. Always keep in mind this apt biblical saying, ‘Who says that you are any better than other people? What do you have that wasn't given to you’? Pride goes before a fall!
8. It’s okay to make mistakes. As you grow older, you will surely make mistakes. That is perfectly okay, your mummy has made quite a few herself. However, I urge you my dear girl, learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others around you. Like Thomas Edison said, with every failure you discover another way in which something will not work. It is, therefore, foolishness to keep repeating the same mistakes. Although experience is the best teacher, it does not always have to be yours.
9. Never stop learning. Always strive to learn from anyone and everything. There is a lesson to be learnt from whatever situation you find yourself. Never look down on anyone. Be ready to learn from everyone, whether young or old – no man is the sole repository of knowledge. You learn something new every day.
10. Never lose faith. Life will throw stuff at you, sometimes good, sometimes bad. I pray that you will get mostly good out of life, but no matter what happens, do not lose faith. Never stop believing in yourself, people and most importantly, God.

Dear daughter, Mummy has so much love and knowledge to pass on to you and prays to have many more years to share all of these with you. If you apply the few nuggets given in this letter, you will do just fine, my girl.

With loving thoughts,

Your mother.

Woman, know your worth

Who is a woman? She is Abigail, beautiful and full of wisdom; wealthy, yet so humble; submissive, yet sensible enough not to follow her husband on the path of foolishness; a peacekeeper, ready to intercede to avert the destruction of her household.

Who is a woman? She is Deborah, strong, courageous, observant of happenings around her and ready to step up to the task, even when men have abandoned their duties and responsibilities.

Who is a woman? She is Esther, beautiful; humble with a teachable heart; comfortable and secure in her husband’s love and wealth, yet willing to sacrifice all for the sake of what she believes in, even to the point of death.

Who is a woman? She is Sarah, a woman of faith, who even in old age, received strength necessary to conceive and bring her husband’s promise and vision to life.

Who is a woman? She is Hannah, focused, full of faith; she knew what she wanted – she said to God, “give me a man child and I will give him back to you”; powerful enough to determine the destinies of her generations unborn.

Who is a woman? She is Jochebed, full of faith and sensitive to identify her child’s purpose and doing all within her power to protect the fulfilment of that purpose.

Who is a woman? She is Lois and Eunice, strong women of faith with enough wisdom to pass on their faith to the next generation.

Who is a woman? She is Leah, written off by everyone, including those closest to her, even her own father; told that she will never amount to anything; seeking validation from her husband until she finally realizes that her worth and value is not from man, but God only.

Who is a woman? She is the woman with the issue of blood, focused, persistent; pushing forward and willing to overcome every obstacle; patient until she receives her miracle.

Who is a woman? She is the woman with the alabaster box, willing to give her all in appreciation of all the master has done for her.

Who is a woman? A woman is you and I, beautiful inside and out; physically weak, yet so strong. You are a doctor, counsellor, teacher, driver, cook, coach, and many more; always looking out for others, yet neglecting your own wellbeing.

You have fought many battles, bear many scars, yet still standing tall; broken into pieces, yet not destroyed.

You are full of love, faith, strength and wisdom; a woman of influence, the fulfilment of many destinies – your husband, children and generations unborn - rests upon you. Use your strength and influence wisely!

You are special, woman; fearfully and wonderfully made; love yourself and know your worth!

Don’t give up on yourself, stay strong and remain positive. Hold your head up high, you are royalty.

Yes, your troubles and afflictions may be many, but the victory is already won; believe this and walk in the victory of the Spirit.

I celebrate you woman, for you are more than a conqueror.